Snakes on an Aezerplane

I have had it with these m******f****** snakes on this m*******f****** aezerplane.

(missing three shrines: Pandemonium of Darkness)

(missing three shrines: Pandemonium of Darkness)

Why is it called Snakes on an Aezerplane?

Have you seen that Voidtouched Subordinate? It looks like a snake.

Have you seen that Aezerhis? It works pretty well with the snake.

Have you seen this movie? It's funny.

Believe it or not this deck used to be even more annoying

When thr33 invented the first version of Snakes to win masters he tested it with me and HallYall for hours. We couldn't win a game. Back then, Voidtouched Subordinate transformed any attacking creature into another Voidtouched Subordinate. It was like a free Parallel Evolution, on a card. The initial version also ran Mesmerizing Spirit and Instill Life. It turned all your cards into Snakes. Then it made you discard all your cards.

You couldn't do anything, except cry.

Thankfully, Dream Reactor nerfed Voidtouched Subordinate and Instill Life - but with Parallel Evolution, this deck still works.

The Game plan

Annoy your opponent so much that they quit.

Seriously though, the plan is:

  • Ramp with New Horizons
  • Get to 4 mana
  • Play a Snake (Voidtouched Subordinate) and a Parallel Evolution. Turn your opponent's best creature into a Snake.
  • Drop an Aezerhis and maybe a Haunt.
  • Use Elinor and Reanimate to cycle your spells and creatures.
  • Keep turning your opponent's creatures into Snakes. Laugh at them as they mill out their own deck.
  • Kill things with Aezerhis activations whenever your opponent decays.
  • Pop a Haunt down on one of your opponent's Snakes, just to piss them off.

Have I mentioned I really dislike this deck? It pains me to even link to Rinriet's take on the deck - which is a good read if you want to hear from someone who actually likes it.

How do I beat this thing?

Kill them before they can get the Snake combo going. When in doubt, kill the Snake and attack face.